


Gay or European?

by HamThePan



Series: Chatroom Where It Happens [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: A Mess™, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I Don't Even Know, I shouldn't write when Im bored, Laf doesn't understand what's going on, Multi, Please Kill Me, Song Lyrics, Song fic?? sort of, Texting, The entire thing is a giant Legally Blonde Reference, this whole thing is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 02:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7917586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HamThePan/pseuds/HamThePan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alabama Hammerman: There, right there!</p><p>Alabama Hammerman: look at that tan well tinted skin, look at the killer shape hes in, look at that slightly stubbly chin, oh please hes gay totally gay</p><p>In The Place To Be: who let alex watch legally blonde</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gay or European?

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I'm really bored and decided this need to be a thing.
> 
> Please don't hate me.
> 
> (I skipped some parts of the song for length- also song isn't mine it was written for legally blonde the musical yadda yadda yadda)

**Alabama Hammerman:** there, right there!

 **Alabama Hammerman:** look at that tan well tinted skin, look at the killer shape hes in, look at that slightly stubly chin, oh please hes gay, totally gay!

 **In The Place To Be** : who let alex watch legally blonde

 **A dot Burr** im not about to celebrate cause every trait could indicate a perfectly straight expatriate, this guys not gay, i say not gay

 **In The Place To Be:** really

 **Elizabest:** sorry

 **In The Place To Be:** i trusted u

 **Margarita™:** its the elephant in the room, well is it relevant to assume that a man who wears perfume is automatically radically fey?

 **'Angel'ica:** But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.

 **Alabama Hammerman:** look at his silk translucent socks

 **A Dot Burr:** thats the eternal paradox look what we're seeing

 **Alabama Hammerman:** what are we seeing?

 **A Dot Burr:** is he gay

 **Alabama Hammerman:** yes!

 **A Dot Burr:** or european

 **M. Lewis:** ooooooh

 **Margarita™:** gay or european? its hard to guarantee, is he gay or european?

 **M. Lewis:** well hey dont look at me!

 **Manning the Ship:** you see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports

 **Manning The Ship:** they play peculiar sports

 **In The Place To Be:** who are they even talking abt

 **Elizabest:** my guess would be laf

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** Why me?

 **Margarita™:** in flashy shirts and tiny shorts

 **The Best Frenchie:** gay or foreign fella? the answer could take weeks

 **Elizabest:** they both say things like 'ciao bella' as they kiss you on both cheeks

 **In The Place To Be:** eliza no

 **Elizabest:** eliza yes

 **Alabama Hammerman:** oh please

 **Margarita™:** gay or european? so many shades of grey

 **Margarita™:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **In The Place To Be:** are y'all really doing the entire song

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** why would they be talking about me???

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** why wouldnt they be

 **'Angel'ica:** depending on the time of day the french go either way

 **Elizabest:** wait laf is french

 **M. Lewis:** shhh

 **Margarita™:** is he gay or european? 

 **Dollface:** there! right there! look at that condescending smirk

 **Dollface** : seen it on every guy at work

 **Dollface:** that is a metro hetero jerk. that guys not gay i say no way!

 **M. Lewis:** that is the elephant in the room, well is it relevant to assume that a hottie in that costume

 **Alabama Hammerman:** is automatically radically

 **A Dot Burr:** ironically chronically

 **Manning The Ship:** Certainly pertin'tly

 **'Angel'ica:** genetically medically

 **In The Place To Be:** o h m y lord

 **Elizabest:** GAY! OFFICIALLY GAY! OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY- DAMN IT!

 **Margarita™:** gay or european?

 **A Dot Burr:** so stylish and relaxed

 **M. Lewis:** is he gay or european?

 **A Dot Burr:** i think his chest is waxed!

 **Manning The Ship:** but they bring their boys up different there its culturally diverse. its not a fashion curse

 **M. Lewis:** if he wears a kilt or bears a purse

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** what is this mes

 **In The Place To Be:** save me

 **In The Place To Be:** think if i added jefferson alex would be too distracted insulting him to continue?

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** i dont know whats going on but probably not

 **Alabama Hammerman:** JOHN DO NT U DARE

 **Elizabest:** gay or just exotic? i still cant crack the code!

 **Margarita™:** yes his accent is hypnotic but his shoes are pointy toed!

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** honestly i think jefferson would join in

 **In The Place To Be:** i doubt it

 **Dollface:** huh, gay or european? so many shades of gray!

 **The Best Frenchie:** but if he turns out straight im free at eight on saturday

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** adri ur in france

 **The Best Frenchie:** let me dream

 **In The Place To Be:** yeah herc let her dream

 **Dollface:** is he gay or european?

 **Margarita™:** gay or european?

 **The Best Frenchie:** gay or

 **'Angel'ica:** wait! give me a chance to crack this guy i have an idea id like to try

 **A Dot Burr:** the floor is yours

 **'Angel'ica:** so, mr. lafayette. this alleged affair with ms adrienne has been going on for?

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** i am not having an affair with adri??

 **'Angel'ica:** and your first name is?

 **In The Place To Be:** herc theyre gonna drag u into this

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** i know

 **Elizabest:** im not sorry

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert Du Mortier

 **'Angel'ica:** and your bf's name is?

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** hercules

 **Margarita™:** -collective gasp-

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** oH! I thought bf meant bestfriend!! Non, non, hercules is my best friend!

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** my time has come

 **In The Place To Be:** go forth and achieve ur dreams

 **Elizabest:** go go go

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** YOU LYING BASTARD!

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:**?????

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** Thats it! i cover for you no more!

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** This man is gay AND european!

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** and neither is disgrace!

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** its me not her hes seeing!

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** no matter what he say!

 **In The Place To Be:** love how everyone went silent

 **Margarita™:** shut up

 **M. Lewis:** herc is skipping some parts

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** i swear he never ever ever swing the other way!

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** what??? did i do???

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** u are so gay u big parfait

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** im straight!!

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** u were not yesterday

 **Margarita™:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Alabama Hammerman:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Dollface:** (  ͡ °  ͜ ʖ  ͡ ° )

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** hes gay!

 **Margarita™:** and european!

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** hes gay!

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** im?? not??

 **Elizabest:** and european!

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** hes gay!

 **Manning The Ship:** and european and gay!

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:**????

 **In The Place To Be:** your line there is 'fine okay im gay'

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** im not??

 **In The Place To Be:** go w/ it

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** fine okay im gay

 **The Best Frenchie:** HOORAY!

* * *

**Hunkules Multigrain:** now that thats over whos explaining this to laf

 **Alabama Hammerman:** not me

 **Elizabest:** u started this mess

 **Alabama Hammerman:** u showed me the musical

**Margarita™:** _you started this mess_

**In The Place To Be:**  rt if alex should explain

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** RT

 **Elizabest:** RT

 **'Angel'ica:** rt

 **A Dot Burr:** rt

 **Alabama Hammerman:** no

 **Hunkules Multigrain:** rt

 **Manning The Ship:** rt

 **The Best Frenchie:** what does rt mean?

 **Dollface:** adri you gotta learn

 **Dollface:** rt

 **Margarita™:** rt

 **Alabama Hammerman:** why do u guys hate me

 **In The Place To Be:** you could literally talk abt anything for hours but wont explain a musical to laf

 **M. Lewis:** am i late to rt

 **'Angel'ica:** its never too late

 **M. Lewis:** rt

 **Alabama Hammerman:** idea

 **Hunkules Multigrain:**?

 **Alabama Hammerman:** everyone comes over and we watch it

 **In The Place To Be:** im game

 **Dollface:** i have nothing planned

 **Favourite Fighting Frenchman:** if?? itll explan everything??

 **'Angel'ica:** schuylers?

 **Margarita:** im in

 **Elizabest:** me too

 **M. Lewis:** ill go with peggy

 **Manning The Ship:** tfw ur in london

 **The Best Frenchie:** tfw when ur in paris

 **In The Place To Be:** then i guess ill see you guys???

 **Alabama Hammerman:** bring snacks @everyone

 **A Dot Burr:** am i invited

 **Alabama Hammerman:** i guess

 **In The Place To Be:** would u two even watch the movie or would u just glare at each other

 **A Dot Burr:** actually im busy so

 **Elizabest:** problem solved

**Author's Note:**

> So, that happened. I'm considering making a series out of this? Like, yet another texting au, because those are generally great and whatever, opinions?
> 
> Also! I told my friend I would advertise her fic (because I borrowed the name 'Angel'ica from it)- So you should check it out! It's really good! http://archiveofourown.org/works/7209263
> 
> Some of the names are pretty straight forward?? But here's a name guide anyway, you're welcome.
> 
> 'Angel'ica- Angelica Schuyler  
> Elizabest- Eliza  
> Margarita™- Peggy  
> Alabama Hammerman- Alexander  
> In The Place To Be- John  
> Hunkules Multigrain- Hercules  
> Favourite Fighting Frenchman- Lafayette  
> The Best Frenchie- Adrienne De Noailles  
> Manning The Ship- Martha Manning  
> Dollface- Dolley Payne  
> M. Lewis- Maria  
> \---  
> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
